The ties that bind (and chafe)

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For Matt Decapua and Marina Re, rehearsing for Florida Studio Theatre’s production of “Over the River and Through the Woods” has been more than a return to a theatrical venue where they both have performed previously. It’s been a literal homecoming.

“I knew every one of these characters. I grew up with them. This is my life,” says Re, one of 12 first-generation Americans born to Italian immigrants living in Brooklyn. “I hear my aunt in every word I say.”

Re plays one of four grandparents in Joe DiPietro’s story about an Italian-American family, all of whom attempt to influence their grandson, Nick (Decapua), as he faces a life- and geography-changing career decision. Much of the action takes place around a family dinner table laden with pasta, amidst frequent admonishments to “Mangia!” (Eat!).

Matt Decapua as the grandson, Nick, in Joe DiPietro's "Over the River and Through the Woods" at Florida Studio Theatre. / Photo by Matthew Holler

Matt Decapua as the grandson, Nick, in Joe DiPietro's "Over the River and Through the Woods" at Florida Studio Theatre. / Photo by Matthew Holler

Those scenes could easily be a snapshot from her own childhood, Re says.

“We had dinner every single night at five and you had to be there, there were no exceptions,” says Re, who grew up in the house next door to her grandparents’ and didn’t realize until she saw the word written out in fifth grade that “pasta” – not “Basta!” --was the word for spaghetti.

Decapua is also “one hundred percent Italian American.” All eight of his great grandparents hailed from Italy and both sets of his grandparents lived not far from his familial home in Connecticut. Every weekend his family made a triangular circuit from their home in Madison, to his maternal grandmother’s in Meriden for “Sunday dinner” (“By that I mean, a giant meal served at one o’clock”), followed by a leg to his paternal grandparents’ in New Haven for Italian pastries.

Though director Kate Alexander insists the two actors were not hired for their heritage (“You’re not allowed to do that,”), she believes their childhood experiences lend a depth and authenticity to their portrayals that others might find hard to match.

“When Marina read for the part, I thought she’d already done it, just from the way she moved her hands,” says Alexander, FST’s associate director. “It only helps that they have all that history to draw from.”

But Alexander, who herself comes from a Greek family, says the play’s themes and characters are more universal to families than particular to any one culture.

Grandmothers Marina Re (left) and Rita Rehn encourage their grandson to "Mangia! (Eat!); in the Italian American family featured in "Over the River and Through the Woods," food can be the solution to any problem. / Photo by Matthew Holler

Grandmothers Marina Re (left) and Rita Rehn encourage their grandson to "Mangia! (Eat!); in the Italian American family featured in "Over the River and Through the Woods," food can be the solution to any problem. / Photo by Matthew Holler

“It’s an Italian backdrop,” she says, “but the play is really about a rite of passage, the price we pay for growing up and leaving home. My immigrant grandmother would always say to me, ‘Stay home, be good and everything will be nice.’ And I’d say, ‘I’ll never go.’ But we all go to that other shore and this is about that very heartbreaking and poignant and human process of leave taking.”

Victoria Holloway, then artistic director of American Stage in St. Petersburg, directed the play when it was previously done at FST in 2000, not long after its initial two-year run off-Broadway. It was unexpectedly well-received, Alexander says.

“The play had done well in New York, but here, it was a huge megahit. You would have thought it was an earth-shattering event. Everyone recognized themselves.”

It was about that same time that Decapua, who was then just graduating from college and poised to embark on his acting career, first read the script. He remembers a sense of déjà vu when he hit the scene where one of the grandfathers frets about the cost of a long distance phone call and devises a hang up “signal” to prompt a return call to reverse the charges – exactly the process his own penurious grandfather encouraged.

“I read it and just laughed hysterically,” he says. “But I also found it very moving. Doing a show like this is bringing up a lot of those wonderful memories of being a grandson.”

In fact, when Decapua and Re sit down to talk, it’s hard to stop the flood of reminiscences, the stream of treasured tales.

Re recalls how she and her 11 siblings would sit in a circle watching her grandfather peel an entire piece of fruit in one long spiral while repeating the story of he’d climbed a tall pole to reach a giant salami in order to impress his future wife. Or how he pretended he spoke no English – “Non capisce!” – when police stopped him for speeding in his black and red DeSoto, his wife, sitting beside him, repeatedly slapping his arm in embarrassment.

Decapua remembers his great aunt Jane’s fabled pepperoni bread -- “good enough to stop a war.” And the way his parents weighed him and his brother before leaving them in the care of his mother’s mother while they went on vacation – then weighed them again after returning to assess the carbohydrate damage.

He also remembers the last meaningful time he spent with his “Gramma Nonna,” the grandparent he was closest to. It was in Sarasota, in 2006, where she and Decapua’s mother had come to see him in “Brooklyn Boy” at FST. After the performance, she came up to him with tears in her eyes, grabbed his cheeks and said (“as she always did”), “Oh Matthew! You were so handsome!” His last fond memory is of the three generations walking together on Lido Beach. Within a year, Gramma Nonna was gone.

Eric Hoffman (left) offers advice to his grandson, Nick (Matt Decapua), in "Over the River and Through the Woods" at FST, which is reprising the Joe DiPietro play first produced here in 2000. / Photo by Matthew Holler

Eric Hoffman (left) offers advice to his grandson, Nick (Matt Decapua), in "Over the River and Through the Woods" at FST, which is reprising the Joe DiPietro play first produced here in 2000. / Photo by Matthew Holler

It’s memories like these that convince Alexander the play, which was written in the late ‘90s and has a few references to no-longer used technologies like VCRs, is not only still relevant, but essential viewing. They represent the very kind of human connections she fears are being lost in a time-crunched and screen-obsessed world.

“The neatness of technology has alienated people,” she says. “Life is messy and crude and we suffer from our love; it’s supposed to be that way. It’s what makes this play imperative, to tell us that what we should value is love and connection and family.

“We remember this now. But in another 10 years? I wonder.”

THEATER PREVIEW

“Over the River and Through the Woods” by Joe DiPietro, directed by Kate Alexander. Florida Studio Theatre, Gompertz Theatre, 1241 N. Palm Avenue, Sarasota. July 22 through August 9. Tickets start at $19. 366-9000; www.floridastudiotheatre.org

THEATER PREVIEW

“Over the River and Through the Woods” by Joe DiPietro, directed by Kate Alexander. Florida Studio Theatre, Gompertz Theatre, 1241 N. Palm Avenue, Sarasota. July 22 through August 9. Tickets start at $19. 366-9000; www.floridastudiotheatre.org
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Carrie Seidman

Carrie Seidman has been a newspaper features writer, columnist and reviewer for 30 years...and a dancer for longer than that. She has a master's degree from Columbia University Journalism School and is a former competitive ballroom dancer. Contact her via email, or at (941) 361-4834. Make sure to "Like" Arts Sarasota on Facebook for news and reviews of the arts.
Last modified: July 31, 2015
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